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don't jump!
When I was a teenager, I really wanted to jump off the Orford-Fairlee Bridge into the river, but my mother talked me out of it. “It’s too high and you could break your neck,” she said. “Besides, there could be old bridge posts you could land on.” Shortly thereafter, I was just about to take a walk across the bridge when I saw about a dozen young (and handsome) guys standing on the other side of the rail, about to jump. Eager to save their lives, I began running as fast as I could, yelling: “Don’t jump! Don’t jump! You could die!” They politely refrained from jumping until I reached them. Grinning, one of them asked me why he shouldn’t jump. I repeated what my mother had said. Trying valiantly not to laugh, the guys told me they’d already jumped off the bridge several times and it was perfectly safe. A hot blush flooded my face, but I tried to play it cool. “Oh, carry on then,” I said. I was almost out of earshot when they burst into guffaws. The moral of this story is: Don’t listen to your mother. Rachel – NH
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the bear hug – my first awkward moment
When I was five years old my family was at church. I had been in Sunday school away from my mom for almost two hours and really missed her. I saw her standing against a wall talking to some other adults, and I did what any child would. I ran to her really fast and bear hugged her legs. Something seemed wrong. I looked up and some other woman was staring and smiling at me. This awkward and scary moment set my life on a course of perpetually causing similar situations. I can not forgive that woman…or maybe I have already. Micah the Admin
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rigor mortis
I was taking a long drive with a few friends. We stopped at a gas station for drinks and bathroom. While we were getting back into the car my friend and I were rough housing. A girl behind us said, “You guys are gonna die!” This girl had just told us the day before that her mother had died through tragic circumstances. My friend replied quickly with an age old joke. “Your mom’s gonna die!” I didn’t see his face. I wish I had. Instead, I tried to top him. I said, “Yeah! She’s already dead, and rigor mortis is setting in!” Immediately I remembered about her mom and saw my friend’s face. He was terrified. I looked away from her as fast as possible, put my headphones on and avoided eye contact with her for the rest of the trip. I felt like a monster, and I still don’t like thinking about it. David – TN
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shouldn't have read out loud…
One day I had this friend over for dinner. After dinner we were enjoying a little small talk. One of my daughters asked me if I knew a phone number of one of her friends. I took out my cell phone and was scrolling down looking for her friend’s name and I came across “mom”. “Why do I have your mom’s phone number in my cell phone?” I asked. I read the number out loud. When I got to the final digit I realized that the number was the person’s sitting across the table. Even though they did not admit it, I knew one of my girls had messed with my cell phone. Rather Not Say – Somewhere