naughty santa, my foot!
One Christmas a friend of mine invited me to a Christmas party with a bunch of his friends, none of which I knew. He told me (and I quote), “We’re having a naughty Santa gift exchange, so bring something to give.” I’d never heard someone use that term before, but being a person of sub-par to average intelligence, I assumed that meant a white elephant gift exchange and didn’t ask any questions. No sweat. Just a brief perusal of my parents’ basement will bring me what I need. I found a statue of a cat laying down that was about a foot long. The cat was multi-colored with velvet like stuff on it to make it soft. In other words, it was really tacky, ugly and undesirable. I think my Grandma bought it at a thrift store. Anyways, I wrapped that as my gift. Upon arrival to the party, I set it lovingly beneath the bows of the Christmas tree and chuckled to myself at its inherently white elephant nature. The time came for us to open the gifts. Sweet. The first gift opened was a…..(drumroll) nice picture frame. Second gift…..(drumroll) nice set of Yankee candles. Third gift…..(drumroll)…………a…..a gross thrift store/basement stored/bizarre looking/tacky statue of a cat? That jerk totally lied to me! That was no “naughty Santa” or whatever the heck you want to call it gift exchange! I sat there completely degraded and humiliated in front of a bunch of strangers. The guy who opened the gift was very gracious though. I tried to explain myself, but he just kept on going on about how it was ok and he could put it on his porch or something woefully ridiculous like that. Whatever, man. Awkward! Amanda – SC
During one year of my life I worked at a restaurant that served very expensive steak and good liquor. One of the waiters I worked with was the best we had and knew it. He was a very tall handsome Arabian man that had the smooth, take control and appear caring way of being arrogant. I was attracted to him. One evening after work a conversation led to him getting the hint that I wouldn’t mind if he kissed me so much. He proceeded to follow me into the fridge and romantically twirl me around and kiss me. And then walked out. Then as we left the building he proceeded to do it again just for a bit longer, and then I stopped him. I was very flattered but also saw how stupid and wrong it was. So I told him never to do that again, I didn’t want to be that kind of girl. He agreed and we moved on, so I thought the issue was taken care of and I didn’t have to worry anymore. Wrong. About two weeks later I was with him and another guy listening to music in his car. I went to my car to get a CD and when I came back the other guy was gone and I was alone with this guy. One thing lead to another and he made advances toward me and I caved… you know, since I thought he was hot and all. So we heavily made out for like an hour. Eventually… at 1:30am… I made up an excuse to leave and left. Now it gets awkward. The next day we worked together he announced to everyone that he was going to be bringing his family to the restaurant that Friday and he wanted a really good waiter/waitress to have their table because he wanted to make a good impression. The next detail is crucial. He was living with a woman and had been for years. I met her a few weeks later and she was really nice and wonderful, but that’s irrelevant. She had two kids and he had two kids from a previous marriage which they were raising together. When both of these incidences happened he had been telling us that they had broken up and he was moving out any day… blah blah blah. Well that Friday night I was working in the back when I was called by my boss to the front and said he had a table for me out on the patio. He said “do your best”, confused at why he said that (also thinking I was not going to be the one chosen to take their table) I walked out and sitting at the table in the center of everything was him with his brother and his wife and then his girlfriend… I froze, I had never actually met her but I knew it was her. I couldn’t talk. I moved to the other side of the table and tried to go through the menu but I was opposite of him and he kept glaring at me with that look of “I know you’re incredibly humiliated, and I love it, and I’m going to keep doing it to you.” When I took his menu he looked at me again with even more evil. It was so awful. I was holding back tears because I so mad at myself for believing him and mad because she had no idea who she was living with. As I went back inside I wiped a few tears, breathed and decided all I could do was finish his table with dignity. But I fumbled everything. I got the wrong drinks, I dropped something, I forgot a salad and I wasn’t as nice as I wanted to be because every word was painful. It was awful service. When it was all said and done he left me a less than usual tip. A few weeks later he had the nerve to correct me on my service skills in front of a trainee. Thankfully, he was fired a few weeks later. Lucy – OK