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a "special" christmas dinner
Several years ago my family and I had the most awkward Christmas dinner. It was the year that my grandparents decided they would treat us all to a special dinner at one of their favorite restaurants. When we arrived at the restaurant, it was packed. Completely busy, but we weren’t worried. My grandpa had made a very special reservation several days prior to have a private room for the whole family to dine in. Our confidence in the reservation was short lived as we found out the staff had made a mistake and had already given the room to another party. So instead of our nice private room, they put a bunch of tables together and stuck us in the bar. Fabulous. So after an hour or so passes, we get our meals and we’re eating and enjoying our time. Suddenly, an old man, who was sitting in the booth behind us, falls out of his seat onto my brother, passed out. Now, the old man is on the ground, not breathing and his wife is hysterically crying (which also made my cousin cry). My aunt decides this guy needs some sort of help (he was choking) and so she socks him in the stomach! A nurse, who was sitting at the bar, yells at my aunt, runs over, pushes her out of the way and starts doing CPR and the Heilmlich maneuver. Next thing I know, paramedics rush past me, revive the old man, and roll him out on a gurney…all while we’re eating dinner. That was enough drama for Christmas dinner, right? Probably not. As we’re all trying to calm each other down and get back to enjoying dinner, the restaurant keeps getting more and more crowded by the minute. Apparently there was no more room to sit in the waiting area, so this strange old man decides to sit down right next to me on the booth/bench thing I was on. I was totally creeped out..and for a long time none of my family even noticed this old man sitting right next to me at our table. Finally, my grandpa saw the guy and says to him, ” I don’t think you’ve met my granddaughter, her name is Emily.” It was totally awkward. After awhile, the man left and I thought that had to be the end of our crazy night. Nope. There were crowds and crowds of people waiting to eat. What made it worse was that the service was completely slow. My cousin didn’t even get her meal until everyone else was eating dessert. Anywho, as my family was trying to finish up dinner and dessert, an angry old man starts pacing throughout the restaurant, yelling at each table, “YOU EAT AND YOU LEAVE!” We loved that. What a merry Christmas! Emily – CA
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naughty christmas card
There comes a time in every child’s life when it’s time to cut the apron strings and buy your own Christmas cards. For me, that would have been about the time I was, say 14 or 15. Doesn’t really matter. Being the multi-tasker that I am, I picked my cards up one day while I was shopping at the mall. Spencer’s had some on sale. Cute little picture of 2 bears on the front. The inside said “It’s beginning to feel a lot like Christmas.” Some of you may already have got the punch line. Just keep reading. The next weekend, I began to hand some of my Christmas cards out to a few friends at church. I may have even handed one to the pastor. I have tried to block that from my memory. By Wed., the pastor’s son, who was also a good friend a just a few years older, pulled me aside. Apparantly, the two cuddly bears weren’t as innocent as I thought. Just one of many of my awkard moments. My parents still screen my Christmas cards before I send them out. Karen – FL
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christmas magic
I was window shopping in a crowded downtown a few days after Christmas with one of my girlfriends. The streets were still decorated with Christmas lights and wreaths, everyone was in a good mood because of the sales, and there was snow on the ground. Suddenly I saw what I thought at first must be a mirage: It was a tiny old man, smaller than most midgets. He had a long gray beard that flowed over his round belly, and–get this–he was wearing a green and red jogging suit with matching red earmuffs. Even though I was 29 and had been raised without believing in Santa, for one magical moment I was convinced he was one of Santa’s elves on vacation after the busy Christmas season. I pointed, loudly crying “Look! An elf!” before starting down the street after him. The tiny man took one terrified look at me and bolted across the street, disappearing into a crowd of shoppers. Everyone was looking at me like I was absolutely nuts, and my friend was embarrassed. I felt really bad for frightening the poor guy, but I still maintain that if you are tiny and look like an elf, you really have no business deceiving the childlike at heart by wearing red and green around the holidays. Rachel – NH