Tag: awkward silence

  • really long silence

    In high school my brother dated this girl for a very short time. ┬áHe invited her to spend Thanksgiving dinner with our family. Everything was late, and so we ended up eating at like 6PM instead of lunch time. This had some of us feeling a little awkward. Then the new girlfriend came in with […]

  • my moose belly

    A few years ago I had a group of friends that would hang out all the time. We became pretty comfortable with each other and so our humor took some strange turns. One of the things my wife and I decided was funny was my belly. I’ve always had a bit of a beer belly. I would do this thing where I’d lift up my shirt and make my hands like antlers on each side of my chest. It made a funny resemblance to a moose. People would always laugh. Beth would also wait til I was talking to someone, come up behind me and lift up my shirt randomly. This also made people laugh. Usually. One night one of our friends’ sister came over to the house we were at. We didn’t really know her, but she seemed comfortable with our rambunctious group. I was having a semi-formal talk with her and her brother just trying to get to know them both better. Beth came up behind me and WHAM! My shirt was lifted up for the new girl. I realized this wasn’t the right setting. Beth apparently did not. The girl looked at us with a mix of horror, discomfort and disgust. There was about a twenty second awkward silence until our little conversation disbanded. I’m pretty sure we never saw her again. Not once. Micah the Admin

  • i've picked up a prostitute!

    I was working the late shift at a restaurant in Longmont, Colorado for a time. One night, as I drove home from work, I observed a young woman standing by the road with her thumb up. I make it a habit to pick up hitch hikers when I get the chance because I have been helped with a ride plenty of times myself. Besides, it was near midnight and Longmont didn’t seem like a safe place for a young lady to be hitching at this time of night. Safer with me than some creeper I thought. Upon pulling over, the girl jumped into my truck, plopping down on the bench next to me. As I pulled away she promptly asked me…….”Do you party?” This wasn’t the usual “how far ya going?” I was used to, but, being a country boy from the sticks, I have seen my share of parties, so I replied,”… sometimes.” I confess, I was quite naive at the time so I was a little surprised by what she said next. “How much money do you have?” My mind raced while I tried to decide if I was to be robbed or invited to a rave. “Not much” I answered. “I can work with anything you got” She quipped. Panic gripped me. My God, I thought, I’ve picked up a prostitute! I had to escape. “I have a girlfriend” I lied. She gave me a disgusted look. “Sorry” (awkward silence) “So, where am I taking you?” “Here’s fine,” she said, so I pulled over and out she jumped. I still get a kick out of seeing peoples faces when I tell them I picked up a prostitute once. At least it was good for that. Mark – NH

  • are you sure?

    About seven years ago I went to Taco Bell with a couple of friends. My friends ordered and got their food with no problems. I stepped up and ordered a number one burrito supreme and soft taco supreme. I was expecting to hear the price and give the guy my money. The cashier looked at me a little strangely and asked, “Are you sure?” I didn’t know what to think. Was I sure? Did I look stupid? At any rate, after a few moments I told him that I was and he told me the price and took my money. I found my friend and asked him why that happened. He said, “You talk funny,” and never explained what he meant. Micah the Admin