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a moment with the mother-in-law
About five years ago my Mother-in-law was attending church with my husband and I. During the sermon she just kept going on and on about something in a not so soft wisper. Suddenly aware of all the people around us I started to become embarrassed by how much of a distraction she was causing and before I knew what I was doing I turned to her put my finger to my mouth and said “sssshhhhhhhh” I swear it was like a reflex! While she did immediately stop talking…lets just say this did not improve our relationship at the time. Leah – SC
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the racist
During a summer break in high school, I took a trip with some friends. While we were in the airport waiting to board our flight, a couple of my friends started picking on me and another kid for being so white and pale. Both of us happened to be the type of people who couldn’t ever get a tan, no matter how hard we tried. I was pretty touchy about this feature of mine, so I tried to say something that would boost my self-confidence and make it look like I wasn’t bothered by them pointing out how pasty I was. I raised my fist high in the air and yelled out the first thing that came to mind,”White people rule!” As soon as I said it, I knew it was a poor choice of words. I also realized that several people at the gate had heard my exclamation and were now staring at me. I wanted to die. What was meant to be a quick comeback made me look like a racist jerk. Emily – CA
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christmas magic
I was window shopping in a crowded downtown a few days after Christmas with one of my girlfriends. The streets were still decorated with Christmas lights and wreaths, everyone was in a good mood because of the sales, and there was snow on the ground. Suddenly I saw what I thought at first must be a mirage: It was a tiny old man, smaller than most midgets. He had a long gray beard that flowed over his round belly, and–get this–he was wearing a green and red jogging suit with matching red earmuffs. Even though I was 29 and had been raised without believing in Santa, for one magical moment I was convinced he was one of Santa’s elves on vacation after the busy Christmas season. I pointed, loudly crying “Look! An elf!” before starting down the street after him. The tiny man took one terrified look at me and bolted across the street, disappearing into a crowd of shoppers. Everyone was looking at me like I was absolutely nuts, and my friend was embarrassed. I felt really bad for frightening the poor guy, but I still maintain that if you are tiny and look like an elf, you really have no business deceiving the childlike at heart by wearing red and green around the holidays. Rachel – NH
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shouldn't have read out loud…
One day I had this friend over for dinner. After dinner we were enjoying a little small talk. One of my daughters asked me if I knew a phone number of one of her friends. I took out my cell phone and was scrolling down looking for her friend’s name and I came across “mom”. “Why do I have your mom’s phone number in my cell phone?” I asked. I read the number out loud. When I got to the final digit I realized that the number was the person’s sitting across the table. Even though they did not admit it, I knew one of my girls had messed with my cell phone. Rather Not Say – Somewhere