I work as a nurse at a hospital and was required to take a class on some new equipment we were going to start using to move immobile patients. Part of the class involved us as a class using the equipment on each other. One of the machines was something we use to lift patients off the floor if they happen to fall, or to lift them off a bed and put them in a chair or another bed when needed. It has several different sizes of slings that you strap someone in and then hook to the machine which then lifts them. A somewhat plump woman was our fake patient, and we were using the sling we thought most appropriate for her size to lift her off the ground with. It ended up being kind of snug on her, and I said (loudly, of course), “If that’s the biggest sling we have, we’re in trouble!” Approximately 5.32 seconds later, I heard my words echoing in the empty cavern that is my head. Somehow, I had thought I was complementing her before I said it, because you see, we get tons of patients who are bigger than her, and if that was the largest size….we are indeed in trouble. But, that’s not how it sounded when I mindlessly spat the words out. I tried to cover it up later by saying….”So many of our patients are so big, and that sling won’t be big enough……” Yeah. Nice try, numb skull.

Amanda – SC