it's not your baby

I was at a busy donut shop having coffee with an elderly, mentally ill acquaintance. Her latest delusional thinking was that she was pregnant, and she was telling me all about it, loudly and in great detail (we were getting a lot of attention at that point). I was gently trying to assure her that she was not pregnant. She was well past child bearing years. She grew more and more adamant and began to shout, “No! I am pregnant! I am pregnant! The doctor told me I am!” Then she leaned across the booth, and in a stage whisper announced, “But don’t worry, Jon… it’s not yours!”

Jon – Somewhere