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back when i was a cop in the bronx
Aug 3rd, 2010 by micah the admin

I’m waiting in line at Walmart with my young baby. It’s a holiday weekend, and the place is packed. I’ve been standing there about thirty minutes, and it’s almost my turn, when the man in front of me suddenly notices my baby and strikes up a conversation. He’s massively tall, middle-aged, with long, straggly gray hair, and has glasses with what looks like a wadded up napkin behind one of the lenses. Despite his odd appearance, we’re having a nice normal conversation. My baby starts to fuss, and I mention that I really need to get him home to feed him. At this, our conversation takes a disturbing turn. He casually mentions that he used to breastfeed when he was a cop in the Bronx. I think “There is no way he said what I think he said. I must have misheard him”. He then proceeds to go on and on about his life as a cop in the Bronx, and all the terrible child abuse he’s seen, and how he was a detective and they transferred him to this area. I smile and nod politely. He is clearly out of his mind. It’s almost my turn at the register, but I pretend I forgot something and politely excuse myself. Then I go stand in another line for half an hour.

Rachel – NH

you're a racist b——
Feb 21st, 2010 by micah the admin

When I worked at Wal-Mart I was the under-paid angry customer problem solver. We had a policy saying that one could only use a check if that person’s name was on the check. This was obvious to me. Don’t let people use stolen checks. Our customers should have appreciated it. One of my cashiers called me over because she had an angry lady in front of her. I would usually give in to whatever crazy thing a customer wanted to insure they would come back, but we couldn’t budge on issues of potential fraud. I nicely explained to the lady the reason we couldn’t take the check. She said, “It’s my husband’s checkbook!” I said, “I’m sorry, ma’am. We do this to protect you and the rest of our customers.” She left in a huff to go get another method of payment. I forgot about it
I went to go goof off at the customer service area. I was laughing a lot and chatting with a friend of mine, who happened to be black. The lady came in all angry and approached me. She pointed in my face and yelled, “You’re a racist b——-, and you can f— off!” Then I realized that she must have been a really light skinned black person or perhaps was part Hispanic or Native American. I don’t know. I would have called her white and maybe, if asked, wonder about her grandparents’ ethnicity. I think my skin was darker. Either way, I was embarrassed.

micah the admin

you are a gal, right?
Feb 9th, 2010 by micah the admin

I am a man. When I worked at Wal-Mart I had slightly longer hair about chin length and no beard. I was standing in the front of the store and was approached by an elderly woman. She got really close to me and asked in a quiet voice if I could tell that she had wet herself. This was awkward. I looked down at her and couldn’t tell, so I told her that I couldn’t. She looked up at me and squinted. Then she asked, “You are a gal, right?”

I said, “No. Sorry.” She walked away.

Micah the Admin

rubbers for men
Jan 29th, 2010 by micah the admin

.

I worked as a Customer Service Manager at Wal-Mart in New Hampshire for about a year. This required me to wear a bright red vest and stand at a podium in the front center of the store, so people thought I was an information booth. One day an old man who looked a lot like Mr. Rogers approached me. He looked me straight in the eye and asked, “Where can I get rubbers for men?”

I was twenty years old and instantly embarrassed. I composed myself and answered with a quiet voice, “Um…I think they’re in the pharmacy.”

He looked at me with horror in his eyes and exclaimed, “NOT THAT KIND OF RUBBER! They’re for your feet.”

Apparently “rubbers” is a local word for rain boots. This moment was beyond awkward for both of us, and the awkwardness reappeared every time this man came back to my small town Wal-Mart.

Micah the Admin

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