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daiquiri times
Apr 8th, 2010 by micah the admin

Years ago when I had first started going out with my boyfriend he, my sister and I all went out for a drink. She was pregnant at the time, so she was sober. He only had a few beers, but I decided I was going to lash a fruit bowl of daiquiris into me. At home time we ordered a taxi, and I really needed to go to the bathroom. I jumped into the car anyway thinking I could run straight into the house. We hadn’t been dating that long, and we were going back to his house which was like, ten minutes away. On the way back I got so desperate I told my sister, “Oh my God! I REALLY have to use the bathroom.” I mean, I couldn’t even concentrate to speak I was using all my will to hold it in.
Finally we got back to the house and MY SISTER being the kind soul she is started winding my boyfriend up and telling him not to let me in. The worst thing about it was that it was really quite funny. The more I tried to really seriously tell them I needed to get into the house, LIKE NOW, the more I laughed. My boyfriend not realising the extremity of the situation (there have been two other drunk wetting accidents) took the key out of his pocket and started really slowly moving it toward the lock, but it was too late. I was pretty drunk, but all I can remember is the warmth of my legs and my sister’s voice going “No, Michael, no, no, no….no, it’s too late, look what you’ve done….”
Out of sheer embarrassment, I burst out crying and refused to go into the house. He had to coax me in in my soaking wet jeans from the cold, AND THEN because I was so drunk and the jeans had become wet, I couldn’t get them off!! He had to peel them off for me in the hall, then I burst into tears and had a passionate rant about how badly they both treated me and how no-one loved me, and a whole diatribe about my childhood relationship with my mother, sobbing away while he tried to console me and my pregnant sister watched bemused. Luckily it didn’t put him off me and I was wearing her shoes and peed on them!! Haha…….unfortunately in my teenage years I have a lot of embarassing things I did under the influence, but thankfully I’ve hit grown up time, now only my big mouth gets me in trouble…..:D

Tanya – Belfast

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