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a moment with the mother-in-law
Apr 8th, 2010 by micah the admin

About five years ago my Mother-in-law was attending church with my husband and I. During the sermon she just kept going on and on about something in a not so soft wisper. Suddenly aware of all the people around us I started to become embarrassed by how much of a distraction she was causing and before I knew what I was doing I turned to her put my finger to my mouth and said “sssshhhhhhhh” I swear it was like a reflex! While she did immediately stop talking…lets just say this did not improve our relationship at the time.

Leah – SC

the bear hug – my first awkward moment
Feb 9th, 2010 by micah the admin

When I was five years old my family was at church. I had been in Sunday school away from my mom for almost two hours and really missed her. I saw her standing against a wall talking to some other adults, and I did what any child would. I ran to her really fast and bear hugged her legs. Something seemed wrong. I looked up and some other woman was staring and smiling at me. This awkward and scary moment set my life on a course of perpetually causing similar situations. I can not forgive that woman…or maybe I have already.

Micah the Admin

holy nightmare
Jan 29th, 2010 by beth the other admin

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Several years ago I went on a trip to The Netherlands with a small group of friends. Towards the end of our stay we decided to check out a very old church from the inside by attending a service. I might as well mention here that we were a group of energetic, college-aged Americans.

We were late. We were under dressed. We were the only young people in the room. And every head turned as my friends noisily took their seats and tried to figure out what the heck we were all supposed to be doing. Everything was in Dutch. My friends were whispering louder than most people talk and that got us even more dirty looks from the old people. After fumbling to keep up with a few hymns and reading aloud in unison, it looked like we were finally going to get to sit down for awhile.  Except that I couldn’t sit, something was wrong with my bench and I had to perpetually kneel on the prayer stool at a weird angle.  My friend Rick, who apparently does not have a healthy reverence for the house of God, thought this would be the ideal time to find out exactly how ticklish I was. Let me tell you now that my tickle-tolerance is a below zero. My side and my knee were attacked and I had to bite my lip and draw blood to keep from making an even bigger scene. My whispered pleas and threats were disregarded, and by this time the priest was making eye contact with me. I didn’t know priests were even capable of giving “the look” but this guy certainly was. I don’t know what was worse: the fact that I was making a scene against my will or the fact that none of my friends seemed to think anything was amiss. Now it was time for communion.

I shuffled into the line and tried to see ahead and figure out what I was supposed to do. But Dutch people are very tall. And I couldn’t even see past the person in front of me. Too soon I was standing in front of the priest. I only had movies to guide me. I had watched actors hold out their hands to receive the bread, but I’d also watched them open their mouths and receive wafer deposits. I hesitated, and like an idiot opened my hands up AND my mouth. The priest looked at me funny and placed the wafer in my hand. I didn’t even bother with the wine.

By this time the priest and I were on track to start dating with the amount of times I attracted his gaze, getting blamed for my friends’ insensitive behavior. The service finally closed but to my great horror the priest stationed himself at the only exit and was shaking hands. The door was not very wide, but I was so mortified by this point and did NOT want to look this guy in the eyes again, so I put my head down and walked past him as fast I could. So much for sightseeing.

Liz the American

in the spotlight
Jan 16th, 2010 by micah the admin

Almost 30 years ago I went to visit a LARGE Baptist church in Denver to glean from a Christian teacher there.  On Sunday morning we went to her church which was the home of the LARGE Christian School where the teacher taught.   They had a huge globe over the “stage” with lights wherever they had missionaries.
The message was on the sin of unbelief.  We were sitting near the back.  I did not know anyone but my hostess.  I was convicted.  It took many verses of the closing hymn for me to walk the aisle.
We filled out cards, and I transparently filled in my reason for coming forward.
Suddenly there was a man in a very high pulpit, like a tower, saying “Sarah Starr Magness, have you come forward to repent of the sin of unbelief?”
It may be my imagination, but his voice resembled the magnified voice of the wizard of oz.  I learned at some point that these services were being broadcast.
Oh,well.  What could I say?  “Yes.”
After that, the memory screen goes black.
And I wondered how many more verses it would have taken me to go down that aisle, had I known the procedure beforehand?

Sarah – TX

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