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Social Interaction Rejection
Mar 1st, 2011 by admin

I was just recalling this event with a friend the other day when it hit me that this was 1.) awkward and 2.) a memory. Perfect!

This is short and sweet. When I was in high school, I kind of knew this girl named, “Bernadette.” Bernadette played the clarinet in our high school band and sat in front of me in English class. One evening I went to a football game, and during half time there was a point where the band wasn’t playing, and was just sitting in the stands. I was passing by ‘Dette who was sitting on an aisle seat in the bleachers. So, I stopped to say hi and strike up some small talk. For the short period of time it lasted, she maintained a frigid half smile on her face before abruptly ending the conversation with, “OK, you can go now.” I hadn’t said a thing that could even be construed as offensive, and I definitely wasn’t infringing on the band’s playing time. I have no idea why she did that. So, I said….”OK….well…..see you later….” And I walked away alone….by myself….
The End. 🙂

Someone – Somewhere

passive income
Jan 24th, 2011 by admin

I work part time at a copy & print center. It stays pretty busy, and at times I’m the only person working in it. One evening this older guy walked up to the counter. He looked a little awkward, but he greeted me very happily and professionally. He had a small stack of papers (maybe four or five sheets) that he needed five sets of. They had little logos at the bottom in color, and he confidently decided they needed to be in color. The problem began when I noticed he was moving really slowly. I get paid to be patient, but it’s equally important for me to be quick and efficient. While he was stacking his papers and reordering them I noticed what they were. Oh no. Not again. They were multi-level marketing sign up sheets. I thought maybe I’d go free, but no!

“So,” he began. “Have you ever considered starting your own business?”

“Yes, actually. I started my own business. I’m a freelance web and graphic designer.”

He didn’t seem to hear me. “How would you like to quit working for these guys and work for yourself?”

I think he was going to say that no matter what I said.

“Well, yeah I’m doing that right now. It’s started slow, but it’s becoming more consistent.”

He just kept going. “Have you ever heard of …? He’s an entrepreneur. He’s made millions with a brilliant marketing plan. See these companies? All of them are big name brands. We simply do a different kind of marketing…People already pay for cable and buy groceries. All they have to do is buy it through your website.” Blah blah blah blah blah. He wouldn’t stop.  I knew his pitch better than he did.

Several times I tried to interject and decline. He’d make a direct offer. I’d apologize very politely and decline. I told him I was not interested. Luckily a lady walked up to the counter behind him. She needed copies. I had run his, but he kept standing there stapling and shuffling. I thought he’d let her step up, but he didn’t. He kept trying to get me to join his team. I made awkward “I’m sorry” expressions to her.

He just kept telling me how I could make so much money without doing work. After twenty to thirty minutes he made his final pitch. “Think about it. Everything I’ve said makes sense, right?”

“Uh huh.”

“We are meeting Wednesday night to talk about it. Wanna come?”

“No thank you. I’m not interested.”

“Would you like to give me your number so I can check back with you?”

WHAT!?! Are you serious. It just got scary. “No sir, I’d rather not.”

Then he left. Thank goodness. I threw away his card and helped my very patient customer.

Micah the Admin

the bathroom bully
Jul 6th, 2010 by micah the admin

To give some background, this story goes back to the early 70’s, when I was in elementary school.  At that time, the government subsidized a part of the public school lunches, which meant that each student had to pay less to buy his lunch. Because of that, the price for lunches was only $.60 and the small ½ pint cartons of milk were reduced to 4 cents each.  So, every day I went to school with my bag lunch and 4 cents in my pocket.

Another thing to know is that the boys’ bathroom had no doors on the stalls, just walls.  So, you always ran the risk that someone would catch you in the middle of you doing your “business”.

So, one day I was in the bathroom minding my own “business”.  All of a sudden, who should burst into the bathroom but the school bully.  Seeing me sitting there, he pulls out a knife and says, “Gimme your money!”  I replied, “Well, all I’ve got is four cents to buy milk.  Do you want that?”  Looking a bit disappointed, he said, “Nah, that’s alright.”

Then, he starts bragging as he pulls out all the change that he got from a number of other students.  He goes on telling me how much he got from whom and what he was going to do with the money.  Meanwhile, I’m just sitting there on the pot, listening to him, not feeling all that comfortable in doing what I originally purposed to do now in front of him.

Finally, feeling satisfied with sharing about his accomplishments, the bully left.  Even though I was relieved, I sat there a bit stunned for a few moments.  Then it came to me – “Oh yeah.  I gotta relieve myself.”  I finished my business and went back to class.

Joseph – DC

happy mother's day!
May 9th, 2010 by beth the other admin

My family went out for lunch at a new restaurant in town. It was Mother’s Day and the place was packed. We all treated ourselves to margaritas and were having a lovely time. But that’s when it happened. My dad (bless him) has a naturally loud voice, and when he has a drink it tends to get a bit louder. He started telling us a funny story from work where a woman said something quite shocking and awkward.   It was much more awkward when my dad practically yelled the punchline, having to do with the FEMALE ANATOMY, of all things, to us.  I do not exaggerate – the entire restaurant fell silent and people started turning around in their seats to stare at us. The place was full of little old ladies, young mothers and small children! My dad seemed to notice. He leaned forward and “whispered” to me, “Was I talking too loud?”  Happy Mother’s Day!

Andrea – CA

the children's dressing room
Apr 20th, 2010 by micah the admin

First of all, I am a pretty short person and I have a young face. My whole life people have thought I was younger than I actually am. So when I was about 15, my mom and I were shopping and I went to try on some clothes. In this store, they had a section for women, which split into two sections: one for adults and one for kids. After going through the quick process of getting into the dressing room, she directs me towards the right section that I’d never been to: the kids section. I was very confused. There isn’t a sign that differentiates the two sections, but I could tell it was the kids section by the much smaller stalls and bunches of five year olds with their agitated moms. I hesitated to go there. ‘The kids section? Come on! I’m 15!’ I thought. But she looked at me as if she was thinking ‘Go ahead kid! What are you waiting for?’ I went ahead to the kids section feeling very…awkward. Later I heard my mom calling for me, and I told her where I was. When she walked up, she herself was confused. ‘WHY are you over here?’ After that I was very tempted to make a shirt that said how old I was to wear everywhere I went. People were always acting as if I was kid!

Amelia – Somewhere

uh…ok…
Apr 13th, 2010 by micah the admin

Oh my goodness, this was actually the most awkward moment, ever, ever. ewwww. Ewww.
I was going into work one day late and the place I was apprenticing at the time only had the owner there and two sections to the shop, an office section with a desk and computer and a work section for customers. So I texted emmm….we’ll call him Hubert and said I’d be late. I arrived at 10.30am and walked in, he was sitting with his head on his hand on the computer looking SO bored, I was like hi, hi, how’s it?? and walked on in. On the way past the computer which was angled at me as I walked into the customer section I glanced at the screen and saw that he was just…watching porn. Just sitting there impassively staring at the screen but was frantically clicking at the mouse to try and close the window.
I was totally grossed out and thought ok, I’m going to pretend I didn’t see that and stay here for a minute until he clicks that off an then I’m going to just pretend NOTHING happened. He clicks it off and gets up, but is really embarrassed and flustered and in his flustered-ness(word??) he goes ‘Oh, I was just watching porn there, so I was’ ……I was like…..’Uh……ok’ O_O
Yeah, I didn’t stay there very long……

Tanya – Belfast

devil child
Apr 7th, 2010 by beth the other admin

When I was about eight or nine I went to a birthday party at a friends house, we did all the birthday stuff and then her mum announced it was movie time, we all piled into the lounge room and she put on Home Alone, I’d watched it already with my parents and we all had a great laugh at it(it was a really funny movie at the time!) so we all sit watching the movie and her mum is in the room watching it with us(while she’s doing her ironing?!) the bit comes to when Macauley has rigged up all the traps and the criminals are getting slapped all over the place, so I start laughing at the guy who has an iron fall on his face(it’s a comedy!!) and suddenly my friends mum goes crazy, she starts shouting at me..’Do you think that’s funny? Do you?? DO YOU!???! You think someone getting an iron smashed in their face is funny?? What sort of a child are you, I don’t know how your parents raised you but laughing at something like that, it’s disgusting, I can’t believe it’…all the other kids are staring at me like I’m the devil, I feel like him as my face is so hot and red from embarassment and THEN we all have to continue watching the movie in silence, she doesn’t turn it off or anything or express resentment at the movie makers…just me. DEVIL CHILD! O_o

Tanya –  Belfast

the most embarrassing cup of coffee
Apr 5th, 2010 by beth the other admin

I had met my husband for a cup of coffee on my lunch break. We decided to sit outside because it was such a beautiful day. My husband bought the coffees and I quickly went to the bathroom. This particular coffee house was incredibly long from front to back and the bathrooms were in the back. I came out of the bathroom and walked the full length of this store. I proceeded outside and set in a metal chair next to my husband. As soon as I set down I felt the metal frame of the chair directly on my backside! Oh no!! I had tucked my skirt into my panties and didn’t realize it until I set on the metal chair. I had walked the full length of that coffee house which by the way was full of people with my backside showing! No one said a word to me…we left promptly:( Awkward!!!

Jan – NM

dinner invitation
Feb 13th, 2010 by beth the other admin

There was a new young couple at our church, and we had invited them over to our house for dinner the following week.  On the appointed day, they showed up at the door, bearing a freshly baked pie.  We, on the other hand, had totally forgotten about the invite and were just sitting down with our kids to a haphazard meal of leftovers. Oops…that was awkward!

Laurel – NH

he looks like a boy
Feb 13th, 2010 by micah the admin

I was at whole foods shop with my four month old baby girl. Her stroller was very girly with pink flowers on it, so I figured it was safe to dress her in a pair of jeans and a flowery turquoise sweater. Several women were pulled in by the magnetism of this cute baby and began showering me with compliments and questions. “What’s his name?” an elderly woman asked. My baby was pretty bald, so it didn’t bother me. “HER name is Rebekah,” I answered, smiling so she wouldn’t feel bad. “Well! HE’S dressed like a boy!” she said emphatically. I didn’t know how to respond to this. One of the other ladies chimed in, trying to undo her friend’s statement, pointing out the more feminine qualities in my little girl. “No, he looks like a boy, all right,” she said stubbornly. I was confused. Were we debating the sex of MY baby? Totally weirded out, I left the store.

Beth the Other Admin
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