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i thought it was funny
Jul 14th, 2010 by micah the admin

I worked in a drug rehab with teenagers. Most of their joking was juvenile and perverse, but one day a patient told me a joke that was actually funny. I laughed so hard and couldn’t wait to tell my wife. I forgot about it for several hours until we were at a dinner party with about twenty people. Most of these people I knew but not all. After we ate everyone was sitting around kind of quietly in the living room. I decided to liven up the party with a couple jokes, so I told the one the patient had taught me earlier. The room went silent.

One friend spoke up with a gasp, “Micah?!”

“What?” I replied.

“Do you not realize what that…”

“Umm… does it… oh no!” I trailed off and tried to play it off by talking to my wife about it. I was innocent – not realizing it was a REALLY dirty joke. The problem is that the joke had already been told.

Micah the Admin

i'm not really a jerk
Apr 5th, 2010 by micah the admin

For a while I was “giving” plasma on a regular basis. They “gave” me a monetary compensation for my generosity. In case that wasn’t subtle enough insert a wink wink. This was my only source of spending cash while we were in school so it was pretty important to me. One day I went up with a friend to donate, but I was taken into another room. This less than professional phlebotomist told me that I could no longer donate. My liver enzymes were elevated which meant I either had Hepatitis, over-exercised, drank too much or took too much herbal medicine. Yeah. Not me. They couldn’t have been bothered with calling me to save me the drive and slight embarrassment. I went to sit in the lobby and wait for my friend to be finished.

I decided to feel sorry for myself, so I got out my laptop, put my headphones in and started listening to some good emo music. About two sappy songs in an angry employee walked over to me. She looked like she wanted to hit me. I was confused. She said with the attitude of three thirteen year-old girls, “Sir, can you turn that down?!”

“What?” Oh! I realized that the headphones were plugged into the microphone slot. Why hadn’t anyone told me? I quickly apologized and tried to explain that it was a mistake. She cut me off with another disgustedly angry look and walked away leaving me to feel like the accidental jerk that I so often turn into.

Micah the Admin

didn't help the interview
Feb 3rd, 2010 by beth the other admin

I was scheduled to have an interview at Panera in the afternoon after I was supposed to pick my brother and cousin from school.  As I pulled up to the school circle drive my cousin and brother decided to run up and jump on to the hood of my car.  Luckily I wasn’t driving very fast.  I thought, “Okay, no problem. I’ll just give them a lift to their bags a bit up the drive.”  I went slowly and it was fine.  Mind you, these boys were in 8th grade and I should have known this wasn’t going to end well.  As I came to their bags and started to stop the car my cousin jumped from the hood off to the side and my brother jumped from the hood only aiming for the front of the car and not the side.  As I slammed on my brakes I realized that my brother had landed just slightly to the left and only his shoe was run down by my tire.  The tire only scraped the side of his shoe and drew a little blood from his ankle.  Well, this was a full-on public school with hundreds of children — everyone freaked out.  The police were called, the fire department was called and an ambulance was called.  We had to wait in the principal’s office until our parents came.  The cops had to question everyone in my car, which included a sister and another cousin, I think.  The cop pulled me into his car and gave me a talking to.  He told me that normally they would have to write up a report about it but since we were family and it was not done maliciously then they would let it go.  While we were waiting for all this to process I had to call Panera to tell them I needed to reschedule the interview because I was involved in an accident. I didn’t know how else to put it.  They were happy to do so.  Well, when I went in for the interview the lady doing it asked how the accident went and what happened.  So I told her, because I couldn’t lie.  She raised her eye brows at me and I didn’t know what to say so we just moved on to the interview.  She never called me back.

Hana – TX

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