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an indian in a store
Apr 14th, 2010 by micah the admin

My friends and I love to do costume parties. Once for my friend’s birthday party we dressed up as Indians (Native American not India – and it was OK all you politically correct people because the birthday boy was Native American and we had a huge NO PILGRIMS poster on the front door). I went all out. Like crazy. I’m the one on the right standing up. I was most obviously costumed. On the way to the party we decided we needed to grab a disposable camera, so I decided to work up the courage to walk into a gas station and buy one. Beth refused to go in with me. Maybe instead of complete humiliation it would be fun and possibly cheer up the cashier. Nope! I walked in. No response. I found the camera and went to the cashier. I smiled. She raised apathetic eyes and told me the price. Is she a robot? She never smiled, raised an eyebrow, chuckled or anything. All she accomplished was making me feel a bit more awkward.

Micah the Admin

the stanly chronicles part 1: cheap motel
Jan 21st, 2010 by micah the admin

My boss’s name is Stanly. He is about 50 years old and drives a big blue 15 passenger van. Stanly and I were working on a construction project about two hours away from where I live. Since it’s a drag driving back and forth everyday, we get a hotel room from time to time. On the first day of the job, I met Phil who was going to be working with us. Later, I found out he was a racist. “I’m not racist, I was just raised that way, ya know what I mean?” I didn’t.

At the end of the day, we drove to a cheap motel. I was the first to enter the room. The first thing I noticed (even before noticing the obnoxious motel artwork, the stale cigarette smell and the nasty bathroom) was that there were only two beds in the room. One motel room, two beds, three construction workers. Zero escape. The second thing I noticed was that the two beds were not even queen sized – they were full sized.

Phil turned on the TV and sat in chair. I sat on one of the beds. Stanly sat on the other bed. After quite some time, I finally got up the nerve to talk about the elephant in the room. I cleared my throat and casually asked, “So what’s the sleeping situation tonight?” Without a pause, Stanly jumped in and said, “It’s you and me, buddy.” I almost died… after I threw up in the back of my throat a little. When I regained composure I said, “I’ll see if I can get a cot from the front desk.” For some reason, Stanly didn’t want to do that, so he decided to share with Phil. Disaster avoided. But, AWKWARD…

Mike – Calgary, AB

the dead parrot
Jan 16th, 2010 by micah the admin

A couple years ago at a small party, we were watching funny YouTube videos. Someone mentioned the Monty Python “Dead Parrot” sketch, so I started loading the video. Two friends of ours arrived a little late, the video loaded, I started the video…awkward silence. Everyone started looking other directions and whispering. Then suddenly, the girl who had just arrived burst into tears and left the apartment, her husband following.

It was then that the hosts chose to explain to me that the couple’s pet sugar glider had died earlier that day. The breaking point was when the stiff, dead parrot was being banged on the counter. The sugar glider had been stiff when they found her. Awkward!

 

Rose – Dallas, TX

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