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bad aunty
Apr 8th, 2010 by micah the admin

A couple of months ago I was took my little nephew to his swimming class(he’s 5), we did the hour swimming and then came out to the changing rooms, when I was getting him dried and dressed I noticed a quite long scratch on his shin, of course the changing room was full being the weekend and I made the mistake of asking him what happened….he said quite loudly ‘You did it’ in a really matter of fact voice, feeling a little embarassed I said ‘No I didn’t sweetie’ ….he must have been having a bad day because all of a sudden he stands up on the slatted bench and says REALLY loudly….’YES YOU DID! DON’T LIE, YOU DID IT FRUFRU(his petname for me) AND GOD KNOWS WHEN YOU’RE LYING SO DON’T LIE!!!’ ….EVERYONE in the changing rooms is just, kind of blankly staring at me like I’m the worst in the world and he’s sitting with his little ams folded and lip sticking out swinging his legs, I was positive it wasn’t me but I was so mortified I was just like…oh right ok, sorry, lets go…..it turns out that I had been wearing a pearl ring in the pool and the pearl had fallen off so the clasp had scratched his leg by accident, I felt so bad but totally worse with the berating he gave me!

Tanya – Belfast

not a tissue
Apr 8th, 2010 by micah the admin

The first holiday I went on with my boyfriend we stayed in quite a rural hotel the first night we arrived we were really tired so we watched the eurovision song contest(!?) in bed and then fell asleep……whatever was going on I had a really fitful delirious sleep and woke up a few hours later with(omg at the time this was the most embarassing thing ever)…I woke up halfway through the night blowing my nose on the bed sheet!!! I have no idea why or what I was doing, all I know is that I sat up in my sleep lifted the sheet that was over me and him and started REALLY LOUDLY, like I mean really loudly, blowing my nose on it, it woke him up and I woke up kind of halfway through doing it but because I was so sleepy I just sort of sat there in this dumb stupor with the sheet in my hands until he sat up and said..’Eh, hellooo…are you ok there??’ …….

Tanya – Belfast

is that the biggest we have?!
Apr 8th, 2010 by micah the admin

I work as a nurse at a hospital and was required to take a class on some new equipment we were going to start using to move immobile patients. Part of the class involved us as a class using the equipment on each other. One of the machines was something we use to lift patients off the floor if they happen to fall, or to lift them off a bed and put them in a chair or another bed when needed. It has several different sizes of slings that you strap someone in and then hook to the machine which then lifts them. A somewhat plump woman was our fake patient, and we were using the sling we thought most appropriate for her size to lift her off the ground with. It ended up being kind of snug on her, and I said (loudly, of course), “If that’s the biggest sling we have, we’re in trouble!” Approximately 5.32 seconds later, I heard my words echoing in the empty cavern that is my head. Somehow, I had thought I was complementing her before I said it, because you see, we get tons of patients who are bigger than her, and if that was the largest size….we are indeed in trouble. But, that’s not how it sounded when I mindlessly spat the words out. I tried to cover it up later by saying….”So many of our patients are so big, and that sling won’t be big enough……” Yeah. Nice try, numb skull.

Amanda – SC

valentine gift
Apr 8th, 2010 by beth the other admin

The first Valentines my boyfriend and I had togther we were working in the same place. He was my manager. I had spent the whole day banging on about how comercialised it was etc. etc. so he didn’t get me anything until that afternoon when the other girls in work cajoled him into going to the chemist across the road and getting me some gifts. So he came back with a box of make up that I use but in the wrong colour. The next day I go to the chemist to change the makeup, it has a makeup section and there’s a queue of women behind me when I get to the till. I tell the woman at the counter I need to change the colour of the foundation and so on…..she takes the box and with a big smile says loudly, “Oh, yes lovely, I remember that man coming in yesterday….and didn’t he get you perfume as well?”
I gave a frozen smile and was like, “um no actually, he didn’t.” She went bright red and became really flustered and quickly changed the foundation while stammering about how she must have it wrong and how busy it was the day before. Embarrassed enough I try to leave when another woman working there shouts from the other counter “Oh Mandy, *chuckle, chuckle* are you getting people in trouble again?!” and has a good laugh with the women in the queue. By this point my anger has reached epic proportions, and I’m storming over to work to confront my poor boyfriend who had to spend a whole day convinceing me he didn’t buy perfume for anyone else with reciept proof and an offer to ring all the numbers in his phone….I felt awful – but it just goes to show how easily you can get someone in trouble with an innocent remark!

Tanya – Belfast

the goodness inside
Apr 8th, 2010 by micah the admin

Hahaha….oh dear I can nearly not write this I’m laughing so hard. When I very first started dating my boyfriend, in the first month he came to visit my house. I worked really long hours so I don’t mean to make excuses, but housekeeping was not my forte. I knew he was coming back that night, and I had a massive pile of dirty dishes in the sink. Desperate, I lifted them all and put them into a plastic laundry box and covered them with a bath towel and ran out to work. Later that night we came back home and were sitting in the living room. I had a miniature rabbit and would let it run about in the house sometimes. Somehow the rabbit had deposited a pile of little pellets(as they do) on the table beside him(it was level with the sofa and it would jump about on the chair when I was sitting there. It must have happened earlier that day when I was drying my hair, and I hadn’t noticed) So we’re sitting there with glasses of wine and he’s in the middle of talking when he suddenly stops and says, “Is that rabbit poop on your table?”
I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to literally spontaneously combust. He’s like “Oh my God” in this incredulous tone and gets up to go wash his hands in the kitchen. Now this would have been cool if I had just let him wash his hands, but in a panic about the hidden dishes I jump up and shout “Please don’t go in the kitchen!” He stops dead and looks puzzled/amused so I jump in front of him (he can’t see rabbit poop and hidden dirty dishes in the same night) But me being about eight stone and him being about 18 stone he marches on into the kitchen. I’m fully freaking out at this point. He’s finding it quite amusing trying to figure out what I’m hiding, and he spots the plastic box. I watch in horror as he lifts the towel with a thumb and forefinger to reveal the mountain of dirty pots, pans and plates…..I almost cry with embarrassment, and he starts laughing and gives me a hug. We’ve been togther for seven years now and I am just as messy, he says that’s ok because I’m so good inside!! 😀 LoL

Tanya – Belfast

daiquiri times
Apr 8th, 2010 by micah the admin

Years ago when I had first started going out with my boyfriend he, my sister and I all went out for a drink. She was pregnant at the time, so she was sober. He only had a few beers, but I decided I was going to lash a fruit bowl of daiquiris into me. At home time we ordered a taxi, and I really needed to go to the bathroom. I jumped into the car anyway thinking I could run straight into the house. We hadn’t been dating that long, and we were going back to his house which was like, ten minutes away. On the way back I got so desperate I told my sister, “Oh my God! I REALLY have to use the bathroom.” I mean, I couldn’t even concentrate to speak I was using all my will to hold it in.
Finally we got back to the house and MY SISTER being the kind soul she is started winding my boyfriend up and telling him not to let me in. The worst thing about it was that it was really quite funny. The more I tried to really seriously tell them I needed to get into the house, LIKE NOW, the more I laughed. My boyfriend not realising the extremity of the situation (there have been two other drunk wetting accidents) took the key out of his pocket and started really slowly moving it toward the lock, but it was too late. I was pretty drunk, but all I can remember is the warmth of my legs and my sister’s voice going “No, Michael, no, no, no….no, it’s too late, look what you’ve done….”
Out of sheer embarrassment, I burst out crying and refused to go into the house. He had to coax me in in my soaking wet jeans from the cold, AND THEN because I was so drunk and the jeans had become wet, I couldn’t get them off!! He had to peel them off for me in the hall, then I burst into tears and had a passionate rant about how badly they both treated me and how no-one loved me, and a whole diatribe about my childhood relationship with my mother, sobbing away while he tried to console me and my pregnant sister watched bemused. Luckily it didn’t put him off me and I was wearing her shoes and peed on them!! Haha…….unfortunately in my teenage years I have a lot of embarassing things I did under the influence, but thankfully I’ve hit grown up time, now only my big mouth gets me in trouble…..:D

Tanya – Belfast

a moment with the mother-in-law
Apr 8th, 2010 by micah the admin

About five years ago my Mother-in-law was attending church with my husband and I. During the sermon she just kept going on and on about something in a not so soft wisper. Suddenly aware of all the people around us I started to become embarrassed by how much of a distraction she was causing and before I knew what I was doing I turned to her put my finger to my mouth and said “sssshhhhhhhh” I swear it was like a reflex! While she did immediately stop talking…lets just say this did not improve our relationship at the time.

Leah – SC

getting him branded
Apr 8th, 2010 by micah the admin

Late one afternoon a young guy and girl came in for their appointment, he was getting his leg done under her command with roman numerals, MASSIVE roman numerals circling right around the top of his calf. She was sitting chatting away with her friend and he was in the middle of his tattoo when I dandered over. She’d just told a story about how they met, and that the roman numerals were the date of when they first started going out, suddenly I worked out that the roman numeral date was ONLY about five months prior to the day we were on. With no mission to stop my mouth before engaging it I blurted out, “Wow! Five months – you didn’t waste anytime getting him branded…..” She just looked at me. There was nothing, just an icy stare. I was like, “I mean, ummm, that’s …..like, so sweet….that you guys are like ummm….so sure of yourselves that you’re getting that ….tattooed, so huge, right around his leg, really big……nice.” 😀

Tanya – Belfast

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