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um…um…hehheh…uhh
Apr 7th, 2010 by micah the admin

The organization I work for has a couple hundred staff plus children and at times fifty or so students. They gather on Sunday evenings for a formal meeting. My wife and I had just returned from a trip to Thailand with two other girls, and we were asked to give a debriefing of our trip. Now, my job IS public speaking – I am a teacher. I am quite capable of impromptu one hour lectures, and I am generally efficient and comfortable doing so. This night I was too confident. We played a video for them, and then I had a brief two to five minute speech to make. It was all worked out in my head until the video stopped, and I looked out into the bright lights and three hundred staring faces. It had to be one of the more populated meetings. My mind went blank. I rattled off a powerful line about the movie and went blank again. I tried another of my planned points. This got me through a stuttering twenty seconds. My mind went blank. I had nothing else to pull from. After staring at the audience, saying, “um” five times, and laughing I turned to my teammates for help. They all shook their heads. They looked more nervous than me. I looked back at the audience and hit them with ten more “um”s and laughs. It felt like this went on for five minutes, but I think it was only two or three. Then I managed to say one last enthusiastic sentence and encourage people to go to Thailand. I walked off the stage trying not to look at anybody. My wife held my hand. That was nice, but it didn’t make it go away. As I write this, I’m actually getting nervous again.

Micah the Admin

brats revenge!
Apr 7th, 2010 by micah the admin

Oh my goodness , this is awful I feel so bad remembering this but here goes…..years ago we all went on a family holiday to Florida and the daily routine was to get up and go to one of the massive waterparks dotted around the place, you know the ones with the really long lazy river that you float round in rubber rings. One of the days that we went my mum was really grumpy and kept taking it out on us so my brother and I hatched a plan, there were two types of rubber ring, a black one for the lazy river and a red one for waterslides, the red one wasn’t allowed in the lazy river because it was too big and there were signs up everywhere saying so….so we got a red rubber ring and went to my mum on her sunlounger and gave it to her, we’re all ‘Here we got you the rubber ring, you have to go in it’s so much fun’ she was quite chunky at the time and she wasn’t sure, she kept asking why everyone else had a black ring but we convinced her it was fine and she got into the red ring(oh my God I’m laughing so hard writing this! :O) because the ring wasn’t for lazy river-ing when she sank her butt down into it she got stuck, we were chuckling by the side of the river, thinking she’d see the sign and realise and get out but she couldn’t remove herself from the ring, next thing she passes a lookout post, seeing the red ring the lifeguard picks up a massive megaphone and starts shouting into it ‘Maam can you please remove yourself from the inappropriate ring and exit the river!!’ ‘MA’AM PLEASE, RED RINGS ARE NOT DESIGNATED FOR THE LAZY RIVER!!’ over and over, we were getting more and more hysterical, the next thing she starts freaking out and kind of wriggling from side to side to try and get out but flips over with a big splash into the river with the ring on top of her, the lifeguard starts trying to tug her to the side of the river, everyone in the river is staring and then she emerges from under the ring and comes storming out like a fury…..we were so scared we ran away and hid for the rest of the day and got really bad sunburn. Probably serves us right! 😀

Tanya – Belfast

stop talking brain
Apr 7th, 2010 by micah the admin

I was a few months into my tattoo apprenticeship and a guy came in to get his arm touched up, I’m not into body modification or piercing or anything I just love art and tattoos so he pulled up his sleeve and he had this huge lumpy growth thing under the skin on his forearm…. I had been reading about dermal implants earlier and for some reason thought that that’s what this was so I started talking about it and he was like ‘No, no it’s dead veins that have swollen in my arm’ subject closed? No, I proceed to start quizzing him on them, can you tattoo over them? He’s like, no they’re sore even to touch…..can you get rid of them?….no there’s no treatment apart from injecting acid which could burn through my skin…..how did you get them? He’s like oh I hurt my arm in training …..but for some reason every time he answered I would say ‘Wow, cool’ even though it was so not cool it wasn’t even funny….then to top it off to try and make amends for all my stupidity I say….wow well, it looks cool, like you’ve got a gun under there, you’re like cyborg vein guy! Kapow Kapow….:D he was so nice he just politely laughed and I found something really important I had to do somewhere away from his chair…..

Tanya – Belfast

devil child
Apr 7th, 2010 by beth the other admin

When I was about eight or nine I went to a birthday party at a friends house, we did all the birthday stuff and then her mum announced it was movie time, we all piled into the lounge room and she put on Home Alone, I’d watched it already with my parents and we all had a great laugh at it(it was a really funny movie at the time!) so we all sit watching the movie and her mum is in the room watching it with us(while she’s doing her ironing?!) the bit comes to when Macauley has rigged up all the traps and the criminals are getting slapped all over the place, so I start laughing at the guy who has an iron fall on his face(it’s a comedy!!) and suddenly my friends mum goes crazy, she starts shouting at me..’Do you think that’s funny? Do you?? DO YOU!???! You think someone getting an iron smashed in their face is funny?? What sort of a child are you, I don’t know how your parents raised you but laughing at something like that, it’s disgusting, I can’t believe it’…all the other kids are staring at me like I’m the devil, I feel like him as my face is so hot and red from embarassment and THEN we all have to continue watching the movie in silence, she doesn’t turn it off or anything or express resentment at the movie makers…just me. DEVIL CHILD! O_o

Tanya –  Belfast

a congressman's fears
Apr 7th, 2010 by micah the admin


This is unbelievable. Notice the Admiral trying to keep a straight face.

an awkward movie
Apr 7th, 2010 by micah the admin

When I was about 19 I had just seen what I thought was a funny movie “Office Space.” A few months later I offered to bring a funny movie to watch at my former youth pastor’s house. So we all sit in the living room ready to watch the movie I’m sitting on the floor with someone else and the movie begins. Immediately I realize that I have forgotten that there is some questionable content in the movie and one scene in particular that made me want to melt into the floor, but does he turn it off and berate me for bringing this trash into his house…no….it continues playing and I am mortified I just wanted to disapear into the floor boards on which I was sitting. When the movie was over I apologized and made my hasty escape.

Leah – Somewhere

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