naughty santa, my foot!
Feb 11th, 2010 by micah the admin

One Christmas a friend of mine invited me to a Christmas party with a bunch of his friends, none of which I knew. He told me (and I quote), “We’re having a naughty Santa gift exchange, so bring something to give.” I’d never heard someone use that term before, but being a person of sub-par to average intelligence, I assumed that meant a white elephant gift exchange and didn’t ask any questions. No sweat. Just a brief perusal of my parents’ basement will bring me what I need. I found a statue of a cat laying down that was about a foot long. The cat was multi-colored with velvet like stuff on it to make it soft. In other words, it was really tacky, ugly and undesirable. I think my Grandma bought it at a thrift store. Anyways, I wrapped that as my gift. Upon arrival to the party, I set it lovingly beneath the bows of the Christmas tree and chuckled to myself at its inherently white elephant nature. The time came for us to open the gifts. Sweet. The first gift opened was a…..(drumroll) nice picture frame. Second gift…..(drumroll) nice set of Yankee candles. Third gift…..(drumroll)…………a…..a gross thrift store/basement stored/bizarre looking/tacky statue of a cat? That jerk totally lied to me! That was no “naughty Santa” or whatever the heck you want to call it gift exchange! I sat there completely degraded and humiliated in front of a bunch of strangers. The guy who opened the gift was very gracious though. I tried to explain myself, but he just kept on going on about how it was ok and he could put it on his porch or something woefully ridiculous like that. Whatever, man. Awkward!

Amanda – SC
dad's death
Feb 11th, 2010 by micah the admin

This was a set of comments under a photo of someone’s dad on Facebook.

cat hair
Feb 11th, 2010 by micah the admin

So one Thanksgiving I brought a friend to the family gathering with me. She had never met them. We have a rather large family and aren’t formal in any sense of the word. This particular time we knew several people were going to be gone for Christmas so we decided to do a white elephant gift exchange. We were sitting in a circle with forty gifts in the middle of the floor playing the game. My friend’s turn came up and she picked a box about a cubic foot in size. Inside it was filled with cat hair. It bounced out all over the place as my friend was frantically trying to brush it all off of her as fast as possible. Everyone was either laughing or “ewing.” ┬áMy Uncle piped up with laughter saying it was his box; I think his wife hit him. He announced that inside the box there were five euros. She took out the euros and exclaimed “I’m allergic to cats!” and walked as far away from the box as she could get. The room went silent, and people started picking up the cat hair from the floor. For the rest of the evening there was profuse apologizing. Luckily she didn’t have an allergic reaction.

Hana – TX

the soccer mom
Feb 11th, 2010 by micah the admin

I was standing at the counter with my husband at a little five and dime store waiting to get checked out. The only employee in the store was stuck on a very tall ladder putting inventory away on a top shelf. He acknowledged us and told us it would just be a minute. We were the only customers until a woman and her young daughter came in. The woman brushed past us, grabbed whatever item she had purposed to buy, and, even though we were standing right up at the counter, managed to step in front of us (making us step backward) and put her item in front of ours. The cashier was down from his ladder by this point. He eyed the lady and looked at us helplessly. Looking rather confused he let her pay, glancing at us apologetically. The lady grabbed her things and her daughter, left the store, never giving us any hint that something unusual just happened.

Beth the Other Admin

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