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little person
Jan 21st, 2010 by micah the admin

This story takes place a few years ago, when I was attending university.

Me and my friend had just had our lunchbreak. On our way to the next class, we were going down a long hallway. In the distance appeared a girl we both knew. She was accompanied by a small person. In my spontaneity I bursted out: “Susan, I didn’t know you were a mother!” As we got closer to them, my smile turned into a grimace. The little person was not a kid, but a midget. “What did you say?” was Susans response. I didn’t respond. I didn’t look at them either. As fast as I could, I passed them. My friend laughed till he cried. It took me a while to join him.

Martijn – Holland

it's not your baby
Jan 21st, 2010 by micah the admin

I was at a busy donut shop having coffee with an elderly, mentally ill acquaintance. Her latest delusional thinking was that she was pregnant, and she was telling me all about it, loudly and in great detail (we were getting a lot of attention at that point). I was gently trying to assure her that she was not pregnant. She was well past child bearing years. She grew more and more adamant and began to shout, “No! I am pregnant! I am pregnant! The doctor told me I am!” Then she leaned across the booth, and in a stage whisper announced, “But don’t worry, Jon… it’s not yours!”

Jon – Somewhere

softballs
Jan 21st, 2010 by beth the other admin

I work at a church and one of our fantastic members works for the railroad. When he stops and waits for a load by a baseball field (or whatever they do) he jumps off his train and hunts down softballs for our church team. I find softball gifts from him on my desk about every month during the summer.
He came into the office one day (after dropping off a “gift” to me the week earlier) and asked if I had received it. I, having the memory of a gnat, gave him a confused look and internally searched my brain to remember what he was talking about. Realization hit me and I blurted out “Oh! Your balls! Yep, I got ’em.”
My hand hit my mouth as soon as the words were out. He was gracious and only laughed at me. This, of course, had to be in front of half the staff. ┬áThe other half enjoyed the story later. Yes, I still work there…not sure how I haven’t gotten fired yet.

Julie – OH

the stanly chronicles part 1: cheap motel
Jan 21st, 2010 by micah the admin

My boss’s name is Stanly. He is about 50 years old and drives a big blue 15 passenger van. Stanly and I were working on a construction project about two hours away from where I live. Since it’s a drag driving back and forth everyday, we get a hotel room from time to time. On the first day of the job, I met Phil who was going to be working with us. Later, I found out he was a racist. “I’m not racist, I was just raised that way, ya know what I mean?” I didn’t.

At the end of the day, we drove to a cheap motel. I was the first to enter the room. The first thing I noticed (even before noticing the obnoxious motel artwork, the stale cigarette smell and the nasty bathroom) was that there were only two beds in the room. One motel room, two beds, three construction workers. Zero escape. The second thing I noticed was that the two beds were not even queen sized – they were full sized.

Phil turned on the TV and sat in chair. I sat on one of the beds. Stanly sat on the other bed. After quite some time, I finally got up the nerve to talk about the elephant in the room. I cleared my throat and casually asked, “So what’s the sleeping situation tonight?” Without a pause, Stanly jumped in and said, “It’s you and me, buddy.” I almost died… after I threw up in the back of my throat a little. When I regained composure I said, “I’ll see if I can get a cot from the front desk.” For some reason, Stanly didn’t want to do that, so he decided to share with Phil. Disaster avoided. But, AWKWARD…

Mike – Calgary, AB

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