the pet shelter lady
Jan 19th, 2010 by beth the other admin

I’ve always considered myself to be an animal person. More specifically, a cat person. So I was surprised when this certain pet shelter lady set me straight.
It had been a couple of weeks since the last time anyone had spotted my long-haired calico. I knew the probability of her being snatched by a wild animal was pretty good. But she could also have been stolen. Either way, I was minus a cat. So off I went to the local pet shelter to do my good deed for the day. When my husband and I pulled up, the building sparkled with good maintenance and self-importance. Anxious to get a kitty, we got in line and waited for a good fifteen minutes while the person in front of us gushed about “adopting” their newest “family member.” As we waited, a man walked in with an enormous, wretched looking stray dog he had rescued. The pet shelter lady gave the pooch a syrupy look  and then proceeded to scowl at the man. She turned back to the dog with a sympathetic expression as if to say, “I understand. I hate humans, too.” Our turn.
After reviewing too much paperwork, we were drilled on the following subjects:  living situation, work schedule, length of marriage, plans for the future, when will we have kids, and on and and on and freaking on. At this point I would have given anything to go home and pretend we hadn’t come here.  I was already twelve years old and getting younger by the second. With a sigh she put down our stack of papers and began taking notes in a separate file. We had come to the part where she noticed we USED to have a cat. “Was your cat an indoor kitty?”  We let her outside.  “I thought so. Your cat was obviously eaten by some animal by your carelessness. You should have put a tracking microchip in her skin.” Another sigh. She copied our names onto a list.  “I’m afraid you two are just not responsible enough to adopt one of our cats. They are family. I suggest you come up with a two year plan for your futures before you try to adopt again.” And then she gave us a two year plan.  “Go back to school, get a large enough house, and wait till you have a child so we can match their temperaments to suit each other.” Then she added, “Or you can just go to a farm and get a kitten that way.” So we did. Come to find out, they didn’t even have kittens at the pet shelter that day anyway.

P.S. I totally cried all the way home.

Beth the Other Admin

i'm adopted
Jan 19th, 2010 by micah the admin

In high school I was very quick to talk and slow to think.  Once, I was riding in a car with friends, and we started talking about adoptions.  I came up with the not-so-brilliant idea that adopted children could never have the same level of relationship with their parents as biological children.  I said this with full confidence and began to argue with my friends.  One girl, Megan, was especially fierce in her argument with me.  I repeated my points and supporting ideas, talking louder and faster.  And then it happened.  Megan said, “Micah, I’m adopted!”  Then we went silent.  And yes, it was an awkward silence.  A man with a theory is always at the mercy of a man with an experience.

I was wrong.

Micah the Admin

when are you due?
Jan 19th, 2010 by micah the admin

Years ago, I was with my dad at a banquet. We were talking to a mom of one of my friends. I was thoroughly enjoying the conversation until my dad asked a question that one should never ask a woman unless he is already aware of her condition. He said, “When are you due? I didn’t know you were expecting!”
My friend’s mom kindly replied, “I’m not.”

Emily –  Los Angeles, CA

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